Rahul: Mum, you want some of my grapes?
Me: Thanks Rahul. But I’m full, I just ate a lot of food.
Leila: You full? Is your belly hurting?
Me: My belly is OK. But it’s true, if you eat too much your belly can hurt. Also if you eat too little it can hurt. Eat a little bit. Eat well, but not too much.
Leila jumps off her seat, signs “a little” with her right hand.
Leila: Mama, little bit lollipop?
NO way. She got me. Nicely.
Me: NO lollipops! Yeah – only a little bit of lollipop. Sometimes.
Photos by Pascaline
I wrote this 6 weeks ago. I would *never* have done such a thing today!
—————————–
“Do you think we should tell Rahul to talk less loudly?” Maher asks me as he enters the kitchen in the evening.
I walk over to the door, peek into the living room where L and R are playing. They’re excited.
“No. I don’t think so. It’s not a big deal that he talks a little loudly. And it’s not all the time anyway.”
Rahul and Leila are shouting now. Fighting over the same toy as yesterday.
When Leila screams, I motion Maher to go and check on them.
Same toy, same fight. Yesterday she wouldn’t let him play. She ended up crying from a bite in her arm.
It’s that same cry. Today. I barge in, demand to know what happened. They’re still at it. Loudly. She’s wailing now. He’s nagging even more loudly. No one is able to tell me what happened.
“STOP SHOUTING RIGHT NOW. BOTH OF YOU,” I shout.
L and R look at each other. R continues to nag. He wants the toy. She won’t give it to him.
My eyes are bigger than he’s ever seen, my index finger points at him and then at his room: WHY ARE YOU STILL SCREAMING? YOU HAVE THE SAME TOY IN YOUR BEDROOM. GO SCREAM IN THERE.
Maher looks away from me. I notice a quiver of a smile on Maher’s face. He looks away and speeds out of the living room.
“WHAT?” I glare at him.
——————-
After the children fall asleep that night, Maher laughs uncontrollably. “Only 2 minutes before you screamed at Rahul for shouting, you said that we shouldn’t say anything about him speaking loudly!”
I relax. I break into laughter. “OK, so I fu*ked up. I know.”
My mum calls soon after. Maher insists I tell her the story. She bursts out laughing. We all do.
“It happens sometimes….” I’ve heard that line of hers before.
Dammit – I was screaming at my children uncontrollably because they were screaming. I hate that shit.
—————————–
I came across this the next morning, from a 1924 series of talks by Rudolph Steiner.
The first essential for a teacher is self-knowledge. For instance, if a child blots its book or its desk because of impatience or anger with something a neighbor did, the teacher must never shout at the child for making blots and say: “You must not get angry! Getting angry is something a good person never does! A person should never get angry but should bear everything calmly. If I see you getting angry once more, why then—then I shall throw the ink pot at your head!” If you educate like this (which is very often done) you will accomplish very little. Teachers must always keep themselves in hand, and above all must never fall into the faults that they are blaming the children for.
First day back in Chengdu after a month.
Leila hesitates before descending a slope.
Leila: Mum. [Re] Member me, I fall down here?
Me: How the hell did you remember that? I remember Leila! A few months ago, you fell down this steep slope.
Leila: I cry mummy.
Me: You’re bigger now. You can do it this time.
——————————
Maher buys bread at a bakery / café. We wait outside, with Rahul asleep in the stroller.
Leila: [Re] Member me, yesterday, I eat cake with you here. Inside.
Me: Oh yes now I remember! You and I came here one afternoon. Many months ago. We shared a piece of cake. You chose it. We sat there. (I point at the corner table.)
Leila: Big cushion, mama.
Me: Yes that’s right! We put a big cushion on the chair so you could reach the plate.
Leila: No Wrahul, No papa.
Me: That’s right, it was just the two of us. You and me together. Rahul was at home with papa. And before we left, you chose a cake for them. And the ayi
(aunt – lady behind the counter), packed it in a box.
——————
As we walk by our favorite Japanese restaurant.
Leila: Hey mum! Wemember me, Wrahul, you, papa, Imad, Pascaline, Liu Yan, Marwan go here to eat. We sit down. We eat a lot.
Me: Yes my love, we ate here many times. We sat together and ate lots of noodles, fish, and spinach.
Leila: Many times.
—————————————
Leila looks at the weighing scale.
Leila: Wemember me, I baby, I lie down here. And Rahul also.
Maher: Oui, bien sur mon bebe, je me rapelle!
Leila: Wrahul cwy, Leila cwy.
Maher: Oui c’est vrai, quand vous etiez tout petits vous pleuriez quand on vous pesait.
—————————————-
At a fountain in our housing complex.
Leila: You wemember me, Leila and Wrahul sitting here, on the step. Wrahul stick. Leila eating.
Me: Yes I remember baby girl. You were sitting next to each other. Rahul was playing with a stick.
Debra is a blogger, editor & an experience holder of nanny housekeeper. She welcomes your comments at her email Id: – jdebra84 @ gmail.com
——————-
Why you should Guest Post
As a blogger you may already have a hard time keeping up with your own personal blog, so suggesting that you guest post for a another blog sounds silly. But before you throw the idea out, consider a few of the many benefits to guest posting:
Practice: It’s like that old saying, practice makes perfect and with blogging that can be very true. The more you write the better you get. Not only does your grammar and punctuation get better but also the way you form your ideas and link words together. Guest posting allows you to practice elsewhere than on your personal page.
New ideas: The great thing about guest posting is that you can guest post for whatever blog you want to. If you have a passion for cooking, you could guest post for a cooking blog. In addition to fun new ideas, each blog has a different set up and writing style. Most blogs you guest post for will have rules and guidelines that they want you to follow. Some of them will request a certain format, style, word count and font. You may gather some ideas on the look of your blog too.
Get your name out there: The more you put yourself out there the more coverage you will get. When you guest post your name and link are listed. A reader can click and go straight to your blog, instant new reader! The more blogs you post on the more readers you can gain in return. Make sure your guest post content is full of great information so that it entices the reader to visit your blog.
There are many more benefits to writing guest posts than these three. Take the time to guest post and guest post often. Find sites that are similar to yours as well as ones that intrigue and interest you. Have fun with it and explore!
Conversation with a caretaker at a children’s park in Lusaka
————
Woman: You are a Hindu, uh?
I shake my head
Woman: So you are a muslim? But you are not wearing a scarf on your head. Anyway, some don’t, uh? But why do you want to cover up your beauty when it was not even you who created it?
Me: My family is Hindu
Woman: And you?
Me: I don’t follow any religion
Woman: And that is your husband over there? He is white; he is a Christian?
If I tell the truth, I hit a wall.
Me: His family is Christian
Woman: Mami, follow your husband
Marisa is a photographer specializing in baby and maternity photography. You can see some of her work on her Facebook page or her website.
From Pregnancy to a Year Old
You are reading this post three days after my daughter, Yara, turned a year old.
My journey with yoga began about 11 years ago and has been an on and off love affair that has gently carried me to where I am now. Along this journey I trained as a Sivananda yoga teacher in Kerala, India and dabbled in a bit of teaching both in Zambia, a place that will always be home to me, and Brighton, where I currently live and have subsequently discovered Scaravelli yoga which I absolutely adore.
If I could play a sound track to you as you read this post, it would be Monsoon Point by Al Gromer Khan & Amelia Cuni, so perhaps you could play it in another window as you read.
I discovered this music while I was pregnant with Yara and preparing for my planned ideal home water birth. Some of you after reading the previous sentence already have an inkling that this story isn’t going to reveal the ideal birth, but instead the birth that was meant to be.
I loved being pregnant and marveled at my ever-changing body giving space to this little being growing inside of me. My yoga practice took on a new dimension, which I loved and my body really understood on a deeper level what it needed to do in order to release the spine.
I practiced under Marc Woolford, my first Scaravelli yoga teacher in Brighton, during the first few months of my pregnancy.
Despite me practicing yoga, learning tai chi from my partner Edward, and all the mental preparation I did during my absolutely idyllic pregnancy (most of which was spent in the sunny Turks & Caicos islands) it all changed at 35 weeks when I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia. After a 5 day stay in hospital I was put on a heavy concoction of medication to bring my blood pressure down and then at 37 weeks I had to have an emergency c-section. I am so grateful to the knowledge that yoga has given me to handle this extremely stressful time and remain somewhat centred. During this time I had a fantastic doula, Lucy Skelton, who is also a yoga teacher and was able to gently guide me through the process.
On the day of Yara’s birth, all within the space of an hour I had to transform my mindset from having a routine check at the hospital, after which I had planned a leisurely lunch in town, to deciding to be operated on immediately for the safety of my baby. Focusing on the breath and being present to what was, helped me regain my centre after the initial shock and panic of the unexpected news. After delivery it was my breath that got me through three hospital-bound days sharing a room with three screaming babies.
Lucy came to my house when Yara was about one week old to help me do some gentle stretching and mainly work on encouraging my shoulders away from up around my ears where they had found a new home after the terror of the experience.
When Yara was 8 weeks old we started attending a weekly mother and baby yoga class taught by my doula. It was a challenge to be ready to head out the door across town for the 10:30 start, yet it was so worth the experience. Meeting other mothers and their babies and feeling the connection through our common experience. Sharing the delights and concerns as well as creating the space to allow our bodies the chance to ever so slowly stretch and strengthen once more.
The course only ran a month and then with the arrival of family from abroad, Yara’s ever-changing routine, and my efforts to start a photography business while improving my knowledge of the craft…yoga slipped away. I would have snippets of it as I reminded myself to breathe while nursing Yara or attempted a sleep-deprived practice on the mat. If I was particularly lucky I managed to escape for a yoga class with my delightful teacher Dot Bowen and came away feeling Marisa again, yet it was not enough to sustain me each day.
This was until about two months ago when I discovered this blog and was deeply inspired by a post about committing to 5 sun salutations for a month. I went easy on myself and committed to 7 days to see how I would go. I realized it was the first time I had consistently practiced yoga probably since my teacher training 6 years ago and I felt fantastic for it! It wasn’t about how long I did or whether I completed the 5 sun salutations – it was about rolling the mat out each day and giving my mind and body the chance to reconnect. Each week now I recommit another 7 days and marvel each day as I notice the change, the strength developing and most of all the chance to reconnect to myself.
I’ve realized that my yoga practice doesn’t have to involve the candles, relaxing music and solitude that I knew prior to being a mother, but rather takes the form that the day presents. If I have the energy I rise before everyone is up and relish the peace, however if not I grab a moment during the day while Yara plays around me or wait until the day is complete and I have my mat time. I’m so grateful to have found a way to incorporate my yoga practice back into my life and the irony of it all is that now as I have less time for myself, I’m able to have a more consistent and fulfilling practice.
Petra is a yoga teacher and the owner of Divya Yoga Studio in Zagreb, Croatia.
She is currently based in Boston, travelling and managing the yoga school in Croatia. She is also studying at Middlesex University of Ayurveda London.
Always get Back
I’ve been practicing yoga for a several years. Do I really have the right to say that considering it’s a 5000 year old practice? Anyway let’s just say I have some experience. I can definitely say that it’s something I’ve been looking for my whole life.
Yoga teaches you to focus and aside from the physical exercise, it takes you away from the everyday activity in to your own space. A space where you can see the real values helping to step besides your own little world and realize there is more to everything. Now this might be a little confusing. First I said it takes me into my little world and then besides it.
About a year and a half ago I found out that I was pregnant. As you practice yoga you definitely develop some sensitivity towards the changes in the body. I remember the time when I felt that something was different. I took a home test and it was positive. That moment was amazing – I was happy and scared. At the same time I kept the big news to myself for another couple of days. Straight away I stopped practicing asanas trying to take the best care of myself. I really loved being pregnant. It’s a special time in a woman’s life.
When my pregnancy was stable I came back to the physical part of yoga, to the asanas, and I must admit, it felt great. My back especially, but the whole body and mind were almost screaming for movement. When you are pregnant people sometimes treat you like you are sick or disabled. I definitely took precautions and was very careful with what I was doing with my body. But I was on my mat everyday.
The practice was completely different from what I was used to. It was soft and gentle all the way into the ninth month of my pregnancy carrying a big baby. My little son (10 pounds 6 ounces – so much for little) was born six and a half months ago. I felt more love than I have ever felt before.
He was a strong healthy baby, but he didn’t pass the hearing test. That really scared my husband and me. Further testing showed that our little one is profoundly deaf. That moment when you find out such news is indescribable. First you start questioning what you have done wrong. Why you. Why your baby.? There is no answer to these questions. I know I didn’t do anything wrong. It’s simply how it is.
But to come to that point of understanding it definitely takes some time and energy. The practice helped. I got back on the mat 10 days after my C-section; only tiny stretches to keep myself sane. It wasn’t easy not to be able to touch my toes and to go through pain as the body was slowly getting back into shape. But it definitely kept me out of my mind and of the situation.
I hear a lot of parents complaining about how they can’t keep the practice because of the 
child. It’s not easy and I am very lucky to have a calm child who watches me as I practice, with a smile. But it’s not always like that. There are days when I have to assist him many times, get off the mat and feed him or change a diaper, but the important thing is to GET BACK ON THE MAT.
My Transcendental Meditation (TM) teacher, dearest Narasimhan, told me if there is someone at the door, go get it, do what needs to be done but then return and continue with your meditation. I think that’s really what it is and it doesn’t only apply to parents.
So I have one suggestion for every soul fighting with tapas – the daily practice. Just get on that mat every day no matter what happens, and keep returning.
At the moment we are in the process of getting cochlear implants for our son. Hopefully he will be able to hear his first Om in late July this year.
This one’s for my Z school friends-
Me: Do you guys want to try these crackers?
Leila: Wat dat cracker mum?
Me: They’re like Nayla’s. They’re yummy.
Rahul (South African accent): Lakka lakka like a fire cracker.
Catherine first came to China as a student in the 1980s and has lived in Chengdu, Sichuan, with her family since 2004. She and her husband both work on development projects with Tibetan communities across China.
Golden Child
One of Sam’s first words was “Buddha.” When he was just over a year old and could say maybe ten words, Buddha was one of his favorites. He would gaze up at the Buddha statue on the bookcase and draw the word out into two long syllables, “boooooodaaaaaaa”, then look at us expectantly for approval. Of course he received it in abundance, which encouraged the performance, and it is also an easy word for a young child to say. But beyond that, Sam has an innate interest in spiritual matters, which is quite different from his brother, a born rationalist and scientist. Sam asks the big questions: what is life, what happens after death, what is a soul, where does it go, where is God, when will the world end, and looks at us expectantly for answers.
I am not sure when he started sitting in the full lotus position, or how he figured it out. Certainly not from copying me. He has always enjoyed joining in my yoga practice, usually by lying on my mat underneath me, or climbing on my back and sliding down in downward dog. I think one day I must have shown him what the full lotus position is supposed to look like and he just effortlessly tucked his feet up into it, then closed his eyes and brought his hands together in prayer like the Buddha statue.
Any child might do it, but it comes naturally to Sam. He does it quite often now and tells us that he is meditating, though only for a few seconds at a time. Last month when we visited the giant stone Buddha at Leshan in western Sichuan, he closed his eyes in front of each of the Buddhas in the nearby temple and told me he was communicating with them. It’s the kind of behavior that, if we were a Tibetan family, would have him recognised as a reincarnate lama and whisked off to a monastery. Which I suppose goes t
o show why the Tibetan system works: you may not believe in reincarnation, but there’s no doubt that some people have an aptitude for spirituality and it manifests early, and those people are well suited to the monastic life. Not that I expect this for Sam, he is full of curiosity and mischief and his current ambition is to be both a singer and a writer. But I do anticipate that he will have a rich spiritual life, and that he will grow up to love yoga.
